“Hi brenda I’ve read your books and followed your tips and advice and they have really helped me gain happiness in my life….. But my husband told me
I have cottage cheese legs my butt could be tighter my boobs could be bigger and I could loose 10-15 lbs now I’m feeling back in the dumps :((( I had my second child in feb and I don’t have an active lifestyle. Do you have Any tips that can boost my spirits about myself? Please help I feel so down and depressed I don’t ever feel good enough what do I do?”
Let’s start with the obvious. Your husband is or is playing the role of a major ass hat.
Perhaps he has his wires crossed and forgot about the whole “LOVE, CHERISH, HONOR” thing.
There are two types of criticism.
1. Constructive Criticism (things you can change that will make you a better person)
2. Ass Hat Criticism (things you can’t change, that will hurt your feelings i.e. the size of your breasts)
It seems like the main reason for him calling out your flaws, is to hurt your feelings. It also seems that he may be using a soft spot for you to really dig the dagger deep into your heart.
Venom spoken from people you’re close to hurts so much more. When someone you’ve committed your LIFE to says mean things, it’s very easy to put those words into the “truth” compartment of your brain. It’s also very easy to allow it to open wounds, cause scars, and actually become the truth you live every day.
The reason I’m addressing this question is because this happens to MILLIONS of women every minute. Whether it be a rude-as-hell husband, mother-in-law, “friend” or what have you. Some people make a sport out of hurting the people close to them (because strangers won’t take their shit).
Some people make a sport out of hurting the people close to them because strangers won’t take their shit.
So, as Joel Osteen says, “You have to love some people from a distance”. But what if you can’t? What if, like this beautiful young lady, you’re married to the venom spewing husband?
Well, in that case, you have to decide;
1.Are you going to allow him to continue treating you/speaking to you this way? Hopefully the answer is no. In which case, tell him you are not going to allow him to continue speaking/treating you this way. Perhaps let him know that husbands and wives should LIFT EACH OTHER UP, not THROW DAGGERS TO KILL THEIR WIVES SPIRITS.
2.Are you going to believe what he says about you? His thoughts are just that, HIS THOUGHTS.
Lastly, I encourage you to get a membership at a gym & take some boxing lessons…not for the cellulite your husband complains about…but to empower yourself, and increase your self-confidence. If you can’t get to a gym, go out for a sweaty, intense jog. Embrace your inner bad-ass. Build yourself up….Build yourself up & lift yourself up.
Chances are that once you do this, you’ll build yourself high enough to see the situation for what it really is, and get a different perspective on what you’re willing to tolerate from others.